


Under The Bleachers

by Wonderaus



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Love, Fluff, I know i said it's angsty but also...., Inspired by Taylor Swift Dorothea a bit, Jaehyun is the top student of the class, Juyeon is the captain of the football team, M/M, Reunions, Secret Relationship, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28383624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderaus/pseuds/Wonderaus
Summary: Sometimes the past should stay in the past, but sometimes it's just impossible to forget someone who made you feel like the whole world was brighter because you were in it.Or: Jaehyun and Juyeon met in high school, fell in love, and then, life happened. And years later, Jaehyun still can't forget about him.
Relationships: Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 14
Kudos: 111





	Under The Bleachers

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna dedicate this story to my dearest friends🌙 & ☀️  
> Thank you for reading my stories and believing in me even when I don't ily

‘ _Dear Juyeon, do you ever stop and think about me? You’ve got shiny friends since you left town, a tiny screen’s the only place I see you now and I got nothing but well wishes for you._

_It’s never too late to come back to my side, the stars in your eyes shined brighter back home, and if you ever get tired of being known for who you know, you know you’ll always know me._

_-L.J#1’_

Jaehyun reads it over and over before having the nerve to fold the paper and put it in an envelope, checking his phone to write down the address that he got.

It’s been years, and he still feels giddy when he thinks about those days, about that boy and his smile and his eyes that shined so bright when he looked at him.

It was easier back then. But he’s sure the boy must’ve forgot.

And he knows this is risky, and maybe he never hears back, but he might as well try.

He writes down the address and the name: ‘Lee Juyeon’ and heads to the post office to send it.

The thing is there’s more than just words in that letter.

There are many, many memories.

* * *

[7 Years ago]

“Jaehyun, are you coming?” Jacob asks as he picks up his stuff. They had a debate team meeting after class.

“Where?” he asks, not sure what his friend means.

“The game? Where else?” he laughs and, of course. Jaehyun almost forgot about the game. He’d been too busy preparing for this meeting, making sure everything was clear as the president of the club, that he forgot about it.

“Oh! Right, yeah, uh—you go ahead, I’ll meet you there” Jaehyun tells him and the other boy nods, getting his things and getting out of there. They’re seniors in high school and graduation isn’t too far away.

That scares him, because here he’s always felt safe. He’s always been the star of the class, valedictorian and class president. Head of the debate team and the student council. This place means everything to him, and he’s scared he won’t know who he is anymore without it.

But right not it’s not about him, he should rush if he wants to make it in time to the game, if he wants to make it in time for the pre-game, too.

He gets his stuff and runs to leave them in his locker, so he doesn’t have to carry them everywhere and rushes down the stairs to the back of the gym, where he finds him.

“I almost thought you ditched me for a second” Juyeon says, ready with his equipment to jump to the field whenever they call him.

“Sorry, I got caught up at the meeting.” But the other boy doesn’t seem to mind much when he holds his face close and kisses his lips.

“You know I play like ass without my lucky charm” Juyeon whispers against his lips and all Jaehyun can do is laugh because he’s so full of shit.

“Right, you mean to tell me that you’re the highest scorer of the team and the whole high school league and the captain and best player just because I sneak in to kiss you before every game?” he asks and Juyeon nods, smiling proud.

“You can’t prove me wrong, because I know you’ll keep coming” he shrugs and Jaehyun knows he’s right. Even if he almost forgot today, he would’ve still found a way.

Because there’s something about the secrecy of this, the recklessness, the way he uses his pair of keys that they handed him as head of the student council to get into the gym for the sole purpose of making out with his boyfriend. He’s the perfect student, but he also likes breaking the rules a little. Especially if it’s to see the boy he loves smile like that.

“I guess I can’t, huh” he says and looks past him towards the door where his teammates are already warming up for the game. “You should go before they start to wonder where you are, and someone comes in here” he tells him and Juyeon sighs.

“Just one more kiss for good measure” and he holds Jaehyun’s face to kiss him deeper this time, his tongue brushing against his lower lip to ask for more, but Jaehyun stops him because if they get lost in each other, they’ll get caught for sure.

“Go and win this one, too. I’ll see you after” he tells him and Juyeon gives him one last beaming smile before he puts on his helmet and gets out to the field. He hears the crowd go wild when he appears and Jaehyun understands. He really does. He just wishes he could also yell to the world how much he loves him.

But in reality, when he goes out to find his friends on the bleachers, none of them know. No one in the whole school knows. They’ve been hiding around for years now. At first it was innocent, Jaehyun was pretty much forced to help Juyeon out to keep his grades up so he wouldn’t be kicked out of the team. Jaehyun looks back on those days fondly now, even though it was a pain in the ass back then.

* * *

[Sophomore Year]

Jaehyun wants to punch through a wall. If he has to wait for another minute before this jock comes to meet him, he’s leaving. He doesn’t care that he’s the star of the team or that the principal herself asked him to do this. He’s got other things he could be doing instead of waiting like an idiot for someone who clearly doesn’t care enough to show up.

It’s been over fifteen minutes when the door opens and a boy comes in, eyes wide and looking lost.

“Sorry, are you… Lee Jaehyun?” he asks, looking at a piece of paper.

“I am. I also was Lee Jaehyun fifteen minutes ago, though” he tells him.

“Gosh, finally” and he closes the door, relieved. “I wasn’t told where we’d be meeting and I’ve been going through every single room in school until I found you, I’m sorry I’m late” and he bows slightly, which catches him off guard because… well, he wasn’t expecting him to be like this at all.

“Oh, that’s… it’s fine, please sit down and let’s get started” he tells him as they sit down in opposite tables.

Jaehyun was expecting some asshole who would spend all their time together just busy with his phone or not even paying attention, because that’s the kind of mental image he had of football players in this school. Had a handful of arguments with them over his freshmen year.

But instead, he ran into this. Juyeon’s eyes were attentive as Jaehyun explained things to him. He took notes and asked questions, he seemed interested and actually kind of bothered by the fact that his grades had plummeted because of the amount of time he spent in practices.

“Hey, Jaehyun-ssi, can I ask you a question?” he asks as Jaehyun was halfway through explaining him what he should know by now to understand the next lessons in Math.

“Yeah, sure” he says, stopping and waiting for the boy to continue speaking.

“Can I call you hyung?” he asks and Jaehyun frowns. “You’re older than me, right?” he asks.

“We’re in the same year” Jaehyun corrects him. “I mean, I am older than you, but—Jaehyun is fine. Drop the formalities, too. It makes me feel older than I am” and Juyeon smiles at that.

“Okay, Jaehyun” he tests it and seems to like it. For some reason, Jaehyun likes it, too.

Their first class ends well, and Juyeon asks for his number to ‘ask him more doubts if he needs to’.

And if Juyeon texts him for any other reason beside that one, Jaehyun doesn’t mind.

* * *

They started to get closer as the classes continued, but with Juyeon’s grades going back up, his coach decided he didn’t need them anymore and could use that time for practice.

Jaehyun didn’t think that was wise, considering that’s why his grades dropped in the first place, but who was he to say anything? So, he didn’t.

And with every game they won, Juyeon’s popularity started to rise. So much that Jaehyun was pretty sure he’d forgotten all about him and their shared afternoons together.

How he’d brought them a box of sweets one day because he knew Juyeon had a Math test and he was nervous, how Juyeon brought them ice cream as a thank-you when he got his grade back and it was a B+ instead of a D-, how one day they decided to watch a movie instead of studying because they were both tired and Juyeon fell asleep on Jaehyun’s shoulder and he just let him.

Those must’ve meant nothing to him, or at least that’s what it seemed. And it hurt Jaehyun because, for some reason, they meant more than it should to him.

It was hard crossing paths in the hallways and not even be acknowledged, but he decided to just pretend Juyeon didn’t exist even if it seemed impossible with his face plastered on the posters of the football club along the walls.

Jaehyun focused on his studies and decided to occupy his afternoons by applying to the debate club and other activities so that, if something ever happened with Juyeon’s grades, they wouldn’t be able to ask him anymore because he didn’t have the time.

But one day, he was preparing for a history exam he had, and he got a text from a number that he should have deleted months ago but didn’t.

He didn’t even delete the chat.

**Juyeon:**

Come meet me at the library

Jaehyun wonders if he should just ignore it and keep studying, but then he gets another.

**Juyeon:**

Please, it’s important

And Jaehyun sighs and picks up his phone to reply.

**Jaehyun:**

I have an exam tomorrow

Can’t you wait till then?

You know I can’t fail this

**Juyeon:**

Sure, it’s okay

Meet me under the bleachers at recess?

And good luck on your exam, you’ll ace it for sure

**Jaehyun:**

Okay, meet you there

And thanks

After that, Jaehyun goes back to studying but it’s hard to focus on World War II when all he can think about is the boy he’s going to be meeting tomorrow.

* * *

He gets there first, which isn’t a surprise to Jaehyun considering their history, and he sits there, covered by the bleachers and hearing people go up and sit there to eat their snacks in between classes.

He wonders if Juyeon forgot, or if he got busy. But he would’ve texted if he had, right?

Jaehyun gets out his food container and starts eating because they’re on a timer anyway, so he might as well get a head start.

“Jaehyun?” he hears and looks up. Juyeon is coming in from the other side of the bleachers. “Hi, sorry I’m late”

“I’m used to it, what’s up?” he shrugs, trying to make it seem like it doesn’t bother him at all.

“I heard you became the head of the student council. The youngest one at that” Juyeon says and Jaehyun doesn’t follow.

“I did. I heard you became captain of the football team and the youngest one at scoring so many points in a single game” he tells him, because it was hard not to hear. It was hard not to notice when that’s all he can hear or think about.

“Yeah, I did” and his smile is shy. “I actually… I need a favor” and Jaehyun doesn’t like how that sounds. “I had an exam today, but I’m pretty sure I failed it” and Jaehyun’s eyes open wide.

“What? Why didn’t you—” and he realizes before he finishes the sentence that he was going to ask why he didn’t ask him for help, but he did. He just chose not to insist. “Why didn’t you tell me it was about an exam? I could’ve helped you” He says, even though he’s been doing the unimaginable to keep himself busy to avoid this very thing. But he’s weak and too good of a person to keep his word to himself.

“You had an exam too, and that should be your priority. I just… I thought I had it, but I didn’t, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen if I fail this semester. They can kick me out from the team, and I can’t let that happen. My entire future depends on it” and he sounds on the edge of tears and Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do, what to say.

“I’m sure it won’t come to that… you’re the star of the team, they can’t do that, they can’t risk you” Jaehyun tries to comfort him but doesn’t think he succeeds. “Maybe your teacher can let you retake your exam if you explain to them why it’s so important? And I could help you study for it—”

“Can you do it for me?” he asks and Jaehyun frowns. “Teachers love you, I bet he’d agree if you were the one to ask. Me… he’d just be happy to fail me because they all think all I’m good at is running with a ball in my hands”

“I don’t—” Jaehyun starts, speechless because, truly, he doesn’t know what to do.

“You know what? You’re right, it’s fine. I… I’ll figure something out, forget I said anything” he says and starts walking out.

“Juyeon, wait!” Jaehyun says, but the other boy doesn’t hear him. Or doesn’t want to. He just leaves him there.

* * *

Turns out the way he figures it out is probably the worst thing that could’ve happened to Jaehyun in all his high school experience.

Juyeon gets a girlfriend. His coach’s daughter, at that.

Back then, Jaehyun didn’t even know that he might like boys, or that he might like Juyeon at all, but the way his chest and heart broke every time he walked past them… it was a nightmare.

It was the most cliché thing in the world, too. Captain of the football team and head cheerleader? Come on.

Worst part was that Juyeon didn’t even seem happy to be with her. Jaehyun caught him more than once hiding in the boys’ bathroom during their breaks, but never said a word.

They hadn’t talked to each other since that day in the bleachers, but Jaehyun assumed. He assumed he failed the subject and somehow got involved in something messy.

But he was old enough to make his own decisions, so who was Jaehyun to intervene?

The year was coming to an end, and Jaehyun had managed to keep his straight A’s record intact.

He had also become head of the debate team, and he made some great friends there, too.

“Are you going to go to the prom?” asks one of the girls at the team. “We could go together, if you want” and to be honest, Jaehyun hasn’t thought about going. He guesses prom should be for seniors only, even if the entire school is invited.

“I don’t think I’ll go, sorry” he says, and the girl looks slightly disappointed. At least he didn’t tell her that he had no interest in her at all.

He could see posters everywhere about it, so it was hard to forget that it was coming. Especially with people asking others loudly in the middle of the hallway.

But turns out, he’s out of luck because as head of the student’s council, he has to go to prom.

If he’d known this, he wouldn’t have offered to the position. That’s a lie, he would’ve.

He just hates the idea of going. Especially as a sophomore, because most people there will be older than him and not care about him telling him not to bring soju into the building.

But he asks his mom to find him a tux he can wear and heads to the gym when he’s supposed to.

To his surprise, he sees more people his age there than he thought he would. Guesses everyone enjoys a good party.

“Jaehyun! I thought you weren’t coming” says Jacob giving him a hug and he sighs.

“Duty calls, I always answer, you know that” and they all giggle. “With great power comes great responsibility and all” he adds.

They start going into the gym and seeing how different it looks, all decorated and full of tables for people to sit.

“I should go say hi to the principal so she knows I made it and I can leave” Jaehyun tells them even though they all know he won’t leave until he’s supposed to.

Once he’s greeted the teachers, he tries to go back to his friends but runs into someone else instead.

Juyeon.

“Oh, hey” Juyeon says, and he looks… so handsome. He’s wearing a bowtie and his hair is pulled up instead of the way he always wears it. “I didn’t think you’d be here” he says and for some reason, it makes Jaehyun get defensive.

“Why, because I prefer the company of a good book?” and Juyeon frowns, confused as to why he said that.

“No, that’s—are you okay?” he asks, but Jaehyun just smiles and nods.

“Great! If you excuse me, I have to find my friends. I imagine I’ll be seeing you on the stage to give you and your girlfriend your king and queen crowns?” and after that, he shoves past him and towards where his friends were.

“Why were you talking to Lee Juyeon? That’s like, the most popular guy in our school” asks Jacob and Jaehyun just sighs.

“Never mind, it’s not important” and he tries to believe that, but he fails.

It’s almost time to crown the king and queen of the dance when someone taps his shoulder, and when he turns around, the last person he expects to find is Juyeon’s girlfriend.

“You, brainy, have you seen Juyeon?” she asks, and she looks mad. Jaehyun is just confused.

“I have a name and you know it, so please use it” he says, not having the time nor the energy to deal with this. “And how should I know? You’re his girlfriend, you should know where he went” and something dark passes through her features before she speaks again.

“But you’re his friend, aren’t you? He talks about you all the time, I thought you’d know where he went. He just vanished and I can’t find him” She says and that confuses him even more. They’re not friends. Jaehyun thought they were once, but he knows for sure that they’re not now.

“Well, I don’t know where he is, sorry” and she seems upset about that and leaves, probably to ask someone else that might have answers.

But this doesn’t sit well with him. Because he starts to look for Juyeon across the room as well, and when he doesn’t find him, he can’t help the worry that starts to bubble in his stomach.

So, he leaves the gym and tries to find him outside.

He goes to the field, knowing that’s where he feels most at home at, but it’s empty, so he continues looking, and goes under the bleachers hoping he won’t find anyone hooking up there.

But all he finds is him. Sat on the floor, in the dark. In fact, the only reason why Jaehyun finds him is because he’s got his flashlight out.

“What the hell are you doing out here? Your girlfriend is looking for you” Jaehyun says and that makes the boy look up. His eyes are red, and his cheeks are wet. It makes him stop on the spot.

“Sh—Not my girlfriend” he mutters and Jaehyun can only blink twice and stand there. “Not anymore”

“Oh” is all that leaves Jaehyun’s lips then, and he feels like an idiot. “Do you—uh, do you want to be alone?” he asks, because the last thing he wants is to bother him right now, but the other boy shakes his head, hugging his legs tighter and it breaks Jaehyun’s heart. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks and Juyeon shakes his head again, but when Jaehyun sits by his side, he leans his head against Jaehyun’s shoulder and just stays there.

And Jaehyun’s hand aches to reach out and touch him, to hug him, hold him and tell him that he’s going to be okay. That whatever happened, he’s going to be fine.

“I couldn’t do it anymore. Lie to everyone just to keep my spot, I—” he hiccups. “I hated every second of it and I couldn’t do it anymore” he admits and Jaehyun just sits there and listens. “And I feel horrible because I know I should’ve just dealt with my shit and figure it out on my own, and I also feel sorry that I asked you to do something wrong for me, but I—I guess I was dumb, and I didn’t know any better” and he can’t hold back anymore. Jaehyun reaches over to take his hand and squeezes.

“You’re not dumb. You were scared and made a stupid decision, but at least you realized and did something about it” he tells him, and even in the dark of the night, Juyeon’s eyes are bright when he looks at him. “Next year, you just need to make smarter choices, because I know you have it in you. You’re actually very smart, I wouldn’t have kept teaching you if I didn’t think it was worth it” he admits and that makes the other boy smile a little.

They stay like that for a while, hands still held together and Juyeon’s head on his shoulder when he remembers: the prom.

“We should head back inside, you still need to get your crown” Jaehyun says, moving and letting go of his hand to stand up. Juyeon seems disappointed at that.

“Are you really sure we won?” he asks him and Jaehyun chuckles.

“Are you kidding me? The whole school is in love with you, of course you won” he says.

“Are you?” Juyeon asks and that makes him stop. He’s about to ask what he means, but he knows he doesn’t have to.

Back then he was young and didn’t really know what love was. All he knew was that whenever he saw Juyeon in a game, or in the hallways or anywhere else, his heart grew three sizes and whenever he saw him with that girl it hurt too much to look at. So, he just shrugged and said:

“Maybe”

And when Juyeon stood up and walked towards Jaehyun, he didn’t stop him. And when he held his face like it was the most precious thing in the world, he didn’t stop him. And when he brushed his lips against his, he didn’t stop him.

And when they stopped kissing, the stars in Juyeon’s eyes looked like an entire galaxy.

And when they eventually went back to the gym so Jaehyun could give him the crown along with a girl from Senior year instead of his now-ex-girlfriend, the look they shared would be theirs forever. Their little secret.

_‘Are you still the same boy I met under the bleachers?’_

* * *

[Junior Year]

They spent the entire summer without seeing one another, because Juyeon had gone to a football summer camp and Jaehyun left town to spend the summer with his family. But they texted, and Jaehyun couldn’t wait to see him again. He didn’t know what it’d be like, because he knew that one kiss didn’t exactly mean anything, even if their conversations through the summer meant the world.

And it was hard seeing him and not being able to reach out, because they weren’t supposed to. And it was even harder now because they were in the same class. But that gave them an excuse to meet up to study together or, well, not.

‘Meet me under the bleachers’ was their secret code. They always met there, even after hours when the school was closed, because Jaehyun had the keys. And every Friday before the game, he’d sneak in the gym to give Juyeon a good luck kiss before he went out to the field. 

Jaehyun was happy. He hated that they had to hide from the rest of the world, but he was happy nonetheless, their little secret made him happy, and he knew that Juyeon felt the same way, too.

Juyeon started to improve his grades on his own through the year, proving to himself, his coach and everyone else that he was capable. Jaehyun knew all along, but it still made him proud to see. Still made him kiss him silly when he showed him his report card with a few As and the rest Bs.

“I might not even need the football scholarship after all with these” he smiles proud one day. They are hanging out at Jaehyun’s house, because his parents aren’t home, and he invited him over.

“I did tell you you were smart, didn’t I?” he asks, drawing circles on Juyeon’s chest.

“You did, yeah. Didn’t really believe you back then, considering how many dumb decisions I made” the other boy giggles. “But you always did believe in me more than I did”

“Well, that’s because I love you” Jaehyun says, realizing only a bit too late that he just admitted out loud something he knew for a while but was too scared of saying.

Juyeon freezes under him until he eventually breathes out a small.

“You do?” and Jaehyun looks up to find him, his eyes glossy and bright. Jaehyun nods, and when he kisses him, he makes sure to make him feel just how much.

“I love you, too” Juyeon says before he kisses him again, and that was the first time they’d say it, but not the last.

* * *

[Senior Year]

Jaehyun is trying to focus on studying for his last exam of the year when he hears a knock on his window.

He turns around and finds Juyeon there, smile bright on his face and he rushes to open. The other boy already too familiar with climbing through his wall to get in his room.

“What are you doing here? My parents are downstairs” Jaehyun whispers, but Juyeon dismisses him.

“I know, I saw them” he says and pulls Jaehyun close for a kiss. But he’s smiling too much for him to kiss him properly.

“Did they see you, though?” Jaehyun asks and Juyeon shakes his head. “What’s that smile for? And don’t say you’re happy to see me, ‘cause I’m not buying it” Jaehyun says, going to sit on his bed as Juyeon gets out a letter from the pocket of his hoodie, and Jaehyun gasps.

They’ve been waiting to hear back from the universities Juyeon applied to for over two months now. The future was uncertain for them, and they both knew it, but in reality, all Jaehyun wanted for him was the best. Because he deserved it.

“Did you open it?!” Jaehyun asks and his boy shakes his head.

“I… I wanted to do it with you” he says and Jaehyun can see how his hands are shaking. “I’m scared, Jaehyun” and he can see it in his eyes when he looks at him.

“Hey, come here” he pats the bed next to him. “Whatever it says, know that doesn’t determine your value, alright? But it’s going to say you got in, so you don’t need to worry about that” he offers him a warm smile and a squeeze in his hand.

Truthfully, Jaehyun shouldn’t want him to get in. Because it’s all the way across the world. And he knows what that would mean, but again, he’d always put everyone else’s happiness above his. Especially the love of his life’s.

“I love you” Juyeon says before he tears the envelope open.

“And I love you” Jaehyun whispers back as his boyfriend takes the letter out and starts to read it.

Jaehyun got enough letters to know exactly where to look to get the response he needs.

‘We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted…’

“Holy shit” Juyeon says, turning to look at Jaehyun, wide eyed and overwhelmed. Jaehyun just feels like he’s been shot, though.

“I knew you’d get it” he tells him nonetheless and hugs him tight. “I knew it, you’re the best in the world, they’d be stupid not to” he says as he hugs him, glad that he can’t see how his eyes start to leak tears.  
Unfortunately for him, Juyeon knows him enough to notice.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, look at me” he says, holding his face and pressing their foreheads together. “I can still not go—”

“No! You have to go” Jaehyun says even before he finishes. “That’s your dream, Juyeon, you’ve always wanted this, and you have the opportunity to achieve everything you wanted to. You have to go” and he realizes he breaks down halfway through his sentence. “You have to go” Jaehyun repeats it to see if it’ll hurt less when realization hits, but it doesn’t.

“You could come with me” Juyeon says but they both know that he won’t, because Juyeon’s dream might be football but Jaehyun’s is right here. He wants to become a teacher at their high school and live here with his family. He wanted Juyeon to be a part of that, too. Somehow.

But he should’ve known that high school loves never last.

They don’t say anything else for the day, and when Juyeon eventually leaves, his kiss tastes like a goodbye even though they still have some time left.

But it feels insufficient.

* * *

Graduation comes and it feels as bittersweet as Jaehyun thought it would. But it’s even harder knowing that it’s the last day Juyeon will be here. He leaves tomorrow for the States and Jaehyun still hasn’t accepted it. He doubts he ever will.

And the worst part is that he can’t talk to anyone about it, because they made a deal. It was their secret only, no one else could know.

But it felt so much bigger than anything Jaehyun could handle, but he knows he’ll be okay eventually. Knows that time heals almost any wound and that it will probably heal his absence, too.

They decided they wouldn’t keep up a long-distance relationship because it would be too hard and leave them empty. The long hours in between their time zones would make it even harder, and it would only break their hearts worse.

So, they’re supposed to meet one last time today, to say goodbye. And Jaehyun just wants time to stop so that moment never comes.

But it does.

He’s under the bleachers, cap and gown on when Jaehyun gets there, and he can’t say anything. He just runs until he’s in his arms and hugs him tight, cries all over his gown and doesn’t care.

“Please, don’t cry” Juyeon says, but when Jaehyun looks up, he’s crying as well. “This isn’t goodbye, okay? I’ll come back, I’ll visit and—and maybe you can come, too” and they both know they’re empty promises, because flying across the ocean is expensive enough to do once. “I love you, Jaehyun, I really do. I know we… this feels like I’m giving up on us, but—You’re the best thing that ever happened to me”

“Please, just don’t forget about me” Jaehyun’s voice is a whisper when he tells him. Practically begs him. “And be happy, that’s all I care about”

“Oh, my sweet boy, how could I ever?” and he holds Jaehyun’s face so carefully like the first time they were under here. And it’s almost impossible to think that it’s going to be their last. “I was the happiest with you, I hope you know that” and when he kisses him, Jaehyun feels like he means it. Like, even if years go by, these years will still be a fond memory in his mind.

* * *

[Present]

And maybe that’s why years later Jaehyun still can’t stop thinking about him. Maybe that’s why he’s tried and failed to replace him. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t stopped loving him, because he still remembers all those days as if they were yesterday.

And he still remembers how Juyeon made him feel and knows he hasn’t felt that ever since, either.

But he sees him on TV, winning games and trophies. Sees him on magazines with a new girlfriend attending ceremonies. Sees him everywhere and nowhere at the same time, and he just can’t forget him.

Jaehyun went off and finished college and he’s now working his second year in his old high school, and the fact that it hasn’t changed a bit makes it even harder to forget. But he’s sure Juyeon has, with the life he’s got after he himself finished college and was recruited by one of the top teams in the country.

He doesn’t blame him, though, because at least he looks happy.

It’s been 7 years since the last time he saw him, and Jaehyun is still not too sure why he ended up writing him that letter or why he even sent it, but when he ran into Juyeon’s mother at the grocery store after so long, something took over him to ask her for his address.

They never knew about them, the same way Jaehyun’s family still doesn’t. They just thought they were good friends, which is why she gave him the address happily, wondering why they never stayed in touch.

Well, it was too painful.

He’s in his office and can see the snow outside. The Christmas break is upon them and he remembers with a ping to his heart that it will soon be Juyeon’s birthday, too. He smiles remembering how they celebrated his 18th birthday, what he got Juyeon. Matching football T-Shirts with the initials LJ on them. Jaehyun was #1 and Juyeon was #2 ‘because I’m older, remember?’ he told him.

Jaehyun wonders if he took it with him to the States.

It’s been a while since he sent the letter and didn’t receive a response, which was to be expected but it still hurts a little.

He’s done for the day, so he starts getting his things and goes to close the window when he sees someone get under the bleachers.

He frowns, because as far as he knows, the students aren’t allowed to do that anymore.

He closes everything and rushes down the stairs and towards the bleachers to make sure there’s no one there, because maybe he imagined it. Maybe it was a cat or something.

But when he gets there, there are footprints in the snow heading inside, and he sees a body too familiar not to recognize.

He looks exactly the same, but better. He grew into his features more, even though he knows that because he’s seen the pictures but seeing him in person is just… something else.

“Hey, Jaehyun” he says and Jaehyun is frozen on the spot, unable to move or say anything. “I do think about you. I think about you all the time. I think about you even when I shouldn’t because ever since I left, my heart stayed here with you. And I never reached out because I knew it was selfish, because it was me who left. And I knew I was risking everything I had to chase my dream, and it worked, but now that I have that I know that something’s missing, and I’ve always known it was you” Juyeon started walking towards him before Jaehyun noticed, and he’s now a few feet away. “I never stopped loving you. And I don’t know if you reached out in a friendly manner and I’m just embarrassing myself by exposing my heart like this to you but—”

“I haven’t stopped loving you, either” Jaehyun says, stopping him. His voice comes out strained because he just can’t believe this is happening. He doesn’t know if he’s dreaming, he thinks he might be. “I… I saw how happy you were over there, with your team and your mansion and your cars and your girlfriends and—I thought you must’ve forgotten all about me”

“I promised you I wouldn’t forget you, didn’t I?” Juyeon says, holding his face and Jaehyun closes his eyes at the touch, at the familiarity of it, even in the cold. He wouldn’t mind freezing if he gets to have this. “My sweet boy, none of that made me as happy as you did. I still love my job, but I’ve always loved you more”

And when they kiss this time, it does feel different. Because they’re not teenagers anymore, even if Jaehyun still feels like he’s back in high school hiding from their teachers as they made out during recess.

They know what we want and who they want, and the answer is each other.

It’s always been each other.

“Welcome home” Jaehyun says, with a hand over Juyeon’s heart and the smile he gives him could light up the entire country. His eyes so bright that put all the stars to shame.

He missed this. He missed him so much.

“I hope you don’t mind me staying” Juyeon says and Jaehyun’s eyes grow bigger. Juyeon smiles and captures his lips again.

‘I’m staying’ he whispers in them.

And that’s all that matters.

[EPILOGUE]

Jaehyun is on the edge of his seat as he watches the game, even if it’s a benefic game Juyeon organized in their high school to earn funds to get new equipment for the gym and for the school.

Jaehyun helped since he’s the principal now. Juyeon moved back to Korea and is now playing in the Seoul team, and even if he has to commute every day back and forth, he says it’s worth it.

“It’s worth it if I get to wake up every day with you” he told Jaehyun, and who was the elder to complain?

They’ve been officially together for a year and a half now, ever since Juyeon came back. Telling their parents was scary, and it took them a while to accept them, they eventually did.

They got a house together with the money Juyeon got from selling all he owned back in the States and have been living together for around a year.

And Jaehyun is so happy, so happy that he can finally scream at the top of his lungs whenever his boy scores a touchdown, he’s so happy that Juyeon can finally point at him in the crowd and send him a kiss.

The whole town know about them now, Jaehyun wonders how the hell no one figured it out all those years ago, but he’s glad he didn’t. He’s glad they stayed their little secret for this long.

The game stops for half time and Jaehyun tries to find Juyeon on the field but he doesn’t see him and frowns.

“Did you see where your brother went?” he asks Juyeon’s sister that came to the game with him.

“No idea” she says, staring at her phone and Jaehyun looks up again when a song starts playing.

And he knows this song.

They danced to this song in their senior prom in the changing rooms of the gym because they couldn’t dance together on the dance floor.

And when he looks up, Juyeon is right there.

“Ever since I was sixteen years old, I knew that love was something precious that I needed to protect, and I failed at that. I failed at taking care of the best thing I had and almost lost it in the process of chasing my dream. Almost lost you, Jaehyun” and the whole town turns around to look at him, and his skin burns. “But fate wanted to fix my mistake and you happened to run into my mother grocery shopping and you, always being braver than I am, reached out. And I still can’t believe that, even after I left, you still took me back” Juyeon giggles, but Jaehyun can see how his eyes are glassy. “But I guess this time it’s my turn to do the brave thing, right?” he asks before he gets on one knee and the whole place gasps at the same time, Jaehyun included. “I’ve been in love with you for 10 years, and I can’t wait to love you for the next 10, too. Lee Jaehyun, would you marry me?” and there’s something about the sight, Juyeon with his old high school uniform, blue paint across his cheeks like he used to have back then, too. His smile just as bright, and his eyes just as gleaming.

He sees that there are a few students behind him with banners that read YES in all of them and it makes him laugh but tear up at the same time.

It feels like the whole world is holding their breaths as if Jaehyun hadn’t made up his mind about this years ago. As if he could see himself with anyone else that wasn’t Juyeon in the future.

“Yes, I’d love to” he says, and the bleachers all cheer for them as Juyeon gets up and climbs towards where Jaehyun is and pulls him in for a kiss. The rest of the world falls silent then, even though they’re screaming and cheering for them, all Jaehyun can feel and see is him. The love of his life. His high school secret, not so secret anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading ;___; 
> 
> I loved writing this story so much and I hope you liked reading it as well! Kudos & comments are much appreciated!! 
> 
> Hope you had lovely holidays and stay safe! Happy New Year! <3


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